Compromise & Negotiation
Our lives are full of compromises. We make agreements with people at work, at home, and just about everywhere on a day to day basis. Like with all things, some of us are better at making deals then others. It is a difficult balance of knowing when to give in and when to stand firm to ensure we are happy and protect our interests. So what is the best way to negotiate a deal? The answer depends on the situation, because no two scenarios are alike.
Understanding the Situation
The most important thing to do before making an agreement or beginning a negotiation is to understand as much about the situation as possible. It is critical to do research prior to making and important decisions or agreeing to a contract. Information helps us gain scope and perspective to any scenario and facts do not lie. If we are too trusting, we could be taken advantage of. In contrast, if we are too demanding we could gain a poor reputation and others won’t want to work with us. So how do we find the middle ground? The answer to this question can be very subjective, but a good rule of thumb is to be fair. We want to protect our interests and respect the interests of others as well. No one wants to feel like they are being taken advantage of and if we can negotiate a deal that satisfies both parties, we have been successful.
Understanding the People
As stated above, negotiations are all about people. Two or more parties want something to be accomplished and have to work together to achieve an end goal, whether business deals or family situations. No matter what the circumstances are, we must remember to be kind and respectful. When we disagree, we will be listened to as long as our demeanor is proper for the situation. Losing our temper only makes compromise more difficult. In contrast, if we calmly state our opinion it is more likely that we’ll be given the courtesy of being heard. If for some reason we are ignored, an agreement is unlikely, and it may be time to move on. In the business world, if two companies cannot find an agreed upon price-point, it might be time to find a new supplier or dealer. There are always other options and sometimes the best situation is to part ways. The key to making the correct determination depends on honest and open dialogue and a mutual understanding of goals. Once this is established the negotiations become easy and painless.
Family
Probably the most difficult situations to navigate are those with our own families. It doesn’t matter if you are dealing with parents, siblings, or in-laws, family members can cause us the most grief. They often have the capability to annoy us even when they are not trying too, likely because we spend so much time around them. At least in a business setting we can more-easily distance ourselves; we cannot simply avoid a family member if we get into a disagreement. So what is the best way to deal with family members? The answer really isn’t any different than how we deal with professional situations - we must be respectful and understanding of their views, even if we adamantly disagree with them. Tolerance is the best approach to any argument. We do not have to sacrifice our values to allow someone else to stand up for theirs. Secondly, know when to walk away. Family circumstances can get heated quickly and walking away might be the best solution. However, be careful because walking away at the wrong time could also add fuel to the fire. It can be a fine line to walk and it is important to not falter. Finally, do not let emotion get the best of you. Make educated decisions and remain calm and collected. It is easy to make a mistake and it is difficult to do the right thing. Be mindful of this and be prepared for the consequences of decisions and actions. Do not make rash decisions, and don’t be afraid to ask for a few minutes to gather your thoughts.
Everyone has a Goal
Most people have reasons for wanting things their way, although sometimes we may not agree with their plans or goals or might not understand what they want to accomplish. Their mind could already be made up and they might not care about our opinion, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have some room to navigate. If we understand what they want, we might be able to present other ways for the person to achieve their goal. This alternative plan could potentially benefit all parties involved and might be the best way to reach an agreement. However, we will never find this alternative if we dismiss others goals because we disagree. We must remember that people can be stubborn, but that does not make them unreasonable. To achieve mutual success, we must respect and understand everyone’s agenda and leave our opinions behind.
It doesn’t matter that people have different opinions, cultures, or ways of doing things. We should be able to work with almost any person or situation if we handle them appropriately. Remember that everything in life is a negotiation and staying calm and respectful will help move things forward. Do not let emotions get the best of you and remember to protect your interests in a positive and upbeat manor— success should follow.