Prove It To Yourself
We all want to be successful and we all want to win but quantifying these things can sometimes be difficult. What constitutes being a successful person and, outside of defined sports, what do we have to do to be called winners. Too many people spend too much time asking themselves questions like this. Additionally, we all spend some amount of time second guessing ourselves. It is human nature after all. So we must ask ourselves who we are trying to prove things too.
Parents
From the day we are born our parents love us. They care for us and want what is best for us. They work difficult jobs to provide shelter, food, and other life necessities to ensure we are prepared to one day leave the nest. Initially we are unappreciative of their efforts, mostly because we do not understand, but later in life we learn the impact they have had on our lives. Some of us have the realization when we are in our teens or twenties; however, unfortunately some of us do not realize the importance of parents until they are gone. We must remember that our parents are normal people who will make mistakes and sometimes do things poorly. They sometimes doubt our life choices and think they know what is best for us and as a result we often feel like we have something to prove to them. This thought can be a driving force for good in our lives but can also be harmful. It is important to love your family and your parents but it is equally important to be happy for yourself. Although it is a great feeling to have parents support you while receiving an award or an honor and it is an even better feeling to share your success with them, we cannot live our lives to make our parents happy.
Teammates and Coworkers
It doesn’t matter if you are playing on a sports team or working with a team in the office, we all like to be good teammate. We like our peers to know they can count on us and we all want to deliver winning results. After all no one likes to lose. We all want to have the right answers and we want be the one who stands out as the best. Peer to peer recognition is proven to be a successful part of any team or workplace culture. Teams allow us to hold each other to certain standards, they allow us to work together to raise the bar even higher, and they enable us to do things that no one person can do alone. Empires and achievements across history have been built on team work. Armies rely on it, sports teams rely on it, workplaces rely on it, and families rely on it; but what motivates us to be part of a team? A simple answer can be some sort of common purpose, but it that really what drives us to be the best teammate possible?
Children
For those of us with children, we know the feeling that we would give up anything for them. We make great personal sacrifice for their wellbeing and even when they are difficult we cannot stop loving them. Being a parent is the greatest challenge any person will ever have. To care for a living being and to try to teach them right and wrong is an incredible thing to do. We often discount the importance of parenting a child and do not think about the wonder that parenting is. We can use our life experiences to try to prepare someone for their life and we try to pass on heritage, culture, wisdom, and tradition. We do this out of love and the joy it brings us is unmatched. That being said, being a parent is extremely difficult. Young children don’t understand a lot and trying to educate them can be a trying process. They have poor, if any, communicate skills and trying to figure out what each other wants can be difficulty. As the child gets older the communication gap is bridged as language skills are learned; however, being able to communicate does not mean understanding is achieved. Then when our children become young adults they often think they know best. They discount our advice thinking we want to control them. It is not until much later in life that they fully understand why we did certain things and even then they still might understand. Parenting can be a thankless job and proving to be a good parent is impossible to quantify.
Ourselves
So why do we join teams, have relationships with our parents, and have a dialogue with our children? Is it subconsciously because we feel we need to prove something to them? We want approval from our parents, our coworkers, and our children but is that what really matters the most? Sure it is nice to have but we must never forget who we really must prove things too, ourselves. We need to enjoy our lives and make impacts on the people who matter to us. Everyone will have their own opinions, that is their right, but we must learn to ignore them. This does not mean discount other people advice, it means learning not to care about other people’s judgement. A wise man will listen to what others say, but make up his own mind. The trials and challenges of life can make us lose track of one important thing. There is only person we have to prove anything to, yourself. We know what we what makes us happy and we all have our own goals. We are not born to prove anything to our parents, we do not work hard for others, and we will never be perfect parents. We shouldn’t live our lives trying to appease others. The only person we must prove anything to is yourself.
Life can be difficult and we can sometimes feel like we have something to prove to others. This can be a driving force for good but we must stop and think. We need to make sure we care about what we are doing. Our passion and our strength needs to come from within. So next time we are striving for greatness we must do it for ourselves first. Set a standard for ourselves and invite or join others in the pursuit of a similar goal, but at the end of the night make sure you are doing what is best for you. This does not mean discount friends, family, coworkers, or really anyone else but if it doesn’t matter personally, we are less likely to succeed.