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Confrontation and Its Benefits

Confrontation and Its Benefits

No one likes confrontations, they are unpleasant and often results in everyone being upset.  However, they are a necessary evil.  What would the world be like if no one stood up against hate or discrimination?  What would the world be like if we had no rules?  There are stances, both personal and professional, that require us to have difficult conversations but we must ensure we have these talks.  Without these challenging moments we risk losing our ability to police ourselves and ensure we help spread good to the world.

 

Reasons

There are an infinite amount of causes that result in the need to have difficult discussions.  Just some examples are people not holding up their weight on a school or work assignment, people not following the rules, or people who insist on unclean habits.  How do you handle a family member or coworker not washing their hands after they use the restroom?  What about a situation where someone doesn’t contribute to a group project but expects credit for the work done?  As individuals we must stand up for what is right and that means challenging our coworkers, friends, and family members when necessary.  However, it is important that we have a valid points and it is necessary to present facts.  No one responds well to unfounded criticism.  So make sure you have all your ducks in a row prior to having the conversation.

 

Being Prepared

The one thing we should never do is confront someone without a plan or with high emotions.  This almost always leads to disaster.  When we enter a situation upset we are setting ourselves up for failure.  This is typically when we say things we will regret later and we will almost never get the desired outcome.  So when someone does something that needs to be addressed it is imperative that we calm down and have a level head.  This is the first, and likely the most important step, of having a positive conversation.  What should we do in the time between the action and the needed conversation about what occurred?  First spend a few minutes trying to think about things from the other person’s point of view.  What circumstances led to the poor decision and what other outside factors contributed.  Next make sure to remain open minded.  Never enter a difficult situation with your mind made up.  In many cases. there are contributing facts that we do not know.  Finally, remember to be understanding.  Do not discount what someone else says and never assume you ae always right.  No one is perfect, including ourselves, so do not assume our way is the only or best way.

 

Have a Desired Result

One of the most forgotten parts of having difficult conversations is to remember the outcome.  What is it we are trying to achieve from this meeting? Ask yourself, have you ever talked to someone about an error they made without having a solution?  These conversations never go well.  Both parties involved usually walk away feeling worse off than before and this would be a total failure.  Spend a few minutes thinking about what habits need to change and more importantly how you can help.  By offering solutions or alternatives to a best practice we open up a discussions that can lead to change.  We must talk about what the end goal is and how we can get there together.  Never make someone feel like they have failed or feel like they are on their own.  We need our coworkers to buy into an end goal and being critical without offering a new path forward will only magnify rifts between us.  The point of having these difficult talks is to bridge the gap not pull it apart further.  So always try to leave the conversation with a desired approach that everyone can take and feel good about.

 

We must hold each other accountable and we must be respectful of each other.  This is a very obtainable goal but we need to remember to leave our emotions at the door.  We are stronger together then we are alone and teams win, not individuals.  So whenever a difficult situations presents itself remember to stay calm, be understanding, and to reach a mutually agreeable outcome.  It is important to have difficult conversations because it leads to growth and a better overall relationship.  Just remember to do right by everyone and things will almost always work out.